10 Things You Can Say to a Friend Who Has Experienced the Death of Their Baby Due to SIDS

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Image of person comforting grieving friend.

The death of a baby due to Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID), which includes Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), is a deeply tragic experience. Knowing what to say to a friend who has lost a baby to SUID or SIDS can feel overwhelming. The right words can offer comfort and show your support during such a heartbreaking time. If you’re unsure of how to express your sympathy, here are 10 things you can say to a grieving friend:

 

  1. “I am so sorry for your loss.” This simple yet heartfelt phrase acknowledges their pain without trying to minimize it or offer solutions. Whether the loss was due to SUID or another cause, it is important to validate their grief.
  2. “I’m here for you, whenever you need.” Offering your support in a way that’s open-ended lets them know they can rely on you, whether they need to talk about their loss, their baby, or just have someone by their side during this painful time.
  3. “It’s okay to grieve however you need to.” Grief after losing a baby, especially to something as sudden and unexpected as SIDS, is unique to each person. Let them know that whatever they are feeling is valid, and that there’s no “right” way to grieve.
  4. “You don’t have to go through this alone.” Reassure them that they have people around them to share the burden of their grief, even if it’s just through presence. For many parents grieving a SUID loss, knowing that they are not alone can be comforting.
  5. “Would it be okay if I checked in on you?” Sometimes, after losing a baby to SIDS or another form of sudden infant death, people may retreat into isolation. Asking permission to check in shows you care but respect their space.
  6. “I don’t have the right words, but I’m here to listen.” Sometimes just being a listener is the greatest support you can offer. This phrase conveys humility and empathy, acknowledging that while you can’t fully understand their loss, you are still willing to listen.
  7. “Your baby mattered and will never be forgotten.” Acknowledging the significance of their baby’s life is deeply meaningful. Whether the loss was due to SIDS or another type of SUID, it’s important to honor their baby’s place in their hearts.
  8. “Is there something specific I can do for you right now?” Offering specific help, like running errands or helping with arrangements, can be more useful than a generic offer of assistance. In the wake of a SUID loss, everyday tasks can feel overwhelming.
  9. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I want to be here for you.” Honesty about not fully understanding their pain shows that you respect the depth of their loss while still being willing to support them during this devastating time.
  10. “Take all the time you need to heal.” Let them know there’s no timeline for grief. Assure them that their healing is a journey that takes as long as it needs to, whether they lost their baby to SIDS, stillbirth, or another cause.

 

Offering comfort to a grieving friend who has lost a baby is about being present, listening, and acknowledging their pain without trying to fix it. These simple, compassionate phrases can help you be a source of support during their time of need.

If you or someone you know has experienced the death of a baby to Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID), we’re here to help. We offer online Facebook support groups, a grief line, and bereavement materials for those grieving the loss of their baby.